Emo Witch Hunt
an interesting series of events that occurs after someone accuses another person of being emo. it doesn’t matter if the person was joking or was serious, it will lead to a seemingly endless chain of finger pointing. no one is safe, any action, piece of clothing, cd, friendship, personality trait or incident in the past or present can be brought up. there are several known ways to end an emo witch hunt.
1. accuse someone who is not present.
2. say very loudly ” emos are so weird”.
3. take the hit and say admit what you’ve done –
the accusation process of an emo witch hunt is similar to that of the salem witch trials. lets just say the motto is ” when under pressure, blame the person to your right.
-this method is very dangerous to your social standing. you could be known as the “emo kid” for a while. however if this doesn’t bother you, feel free to use this method, if you are scared do not use it.
jen: amanda you are so emo.
amanda: i’m not emo! you’re the one who wears those chucks with dashboard confessional lyrics written on them.
jen: -gasps- well john cried at the end of donnie darko!
all: ohhhhh!
john: once at the library, frank was checking out the hawthorne heights cd.
-everyone looks at frank-
frank: oh yeah? mandy hangs out with emo emily!
-everyone turns to mandy-
mandy: bob wrote wrote poetry for a week straight after samantha dumped him!
samantha: you did?!
bob: …
——————-
ending #1
bob: at least none of us are like randy! look at his gl-sses!
-everyone laughs-
john: randy is so lame!
samantha: bob, i hope you know that our breaking up was for the best.
—————-
ending # 2
bob: -loudly- emos are so weird.
-everyone shuts up-
jen: that is so true.
samantha: so you didnt write poems?
bob: no! what kind of loser does that?
samantha: oh.
————
ending # 3
bob:…ok, so i did write poems. i guess that makes me “emo”.
-everyone teases bob for a few moments-
samantha- -turns to bob- so…you wrote poems? maybe you have changed, i would love to see them.
bob- is friday night ok?
samantha- it’s a date.
– while this is going on, the kid who likes rites of spring laughs to himself and whispers “gotta love the emo witch hunts!”
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