Face taco


the aggressive smearing of a v-g-n- on an unwilling victim’s face. often used as a prank to awaken -sshole men, but is also effective as a defense tactic when attacked by mountain lions.

similar to teabagging, but far better as a weapon, since 1) t-st-cl-s are weak, difficult to aim, and easily bruised, and 2) a face taco can potentially kill a victim by suffocation.
john: this morning my girlfriend woke me up with a face taco; i thought i was under attack by a burglar with a fleshlight.

bob: yeah, same; i was dreaming that i was luke skywalker, about to freeze to death on hoth, so i crawled inside my dead tauntaun for warmth. after i woke up, it took me 5 minutes to realize i wasn’t still inside its carc-ss.

john: i would break up with her if it wasn’t for all the mountain lions.
1. a taco that you don’t eat, you just rub all over your face and it seeps into your skin like lotion.

2. a mouth.
1:

guy1: hey dude, what are you doing. why are you rubbing that taco all over your face?

guy2: its a face taco.

2:

guy1: shut your face toco.

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