Fallout Drama

the term “fallout drama” refers to the angry message board flame wars pertaining to the direction, legacy, or style of the video game series, fallout. the strife has been ravaging internet forums everywhere ever since bethesda softworks purchased the franchise after black isle studios’ demise.

the factions of fallout drama are either:
i. fans of the first two installments in the series
ii. fans of the third installment
iii. fans of the series as a whole
iv. fans of the brotherhood of steel spin-off (g-d forbid…)

the most prominent factions in the flame war are the first two.

rabid fans of the original series are a jolly bunch of good ol’ boy elitists who most likely spent most of their life hugging a commodore 64 and slashing their palms in front of an altar of tim cain. you can identify a member of the first faction with several of the following traits:
1. he/she is a rabid fan of black isle and thinks bethesda p-ssed on the series.
2. is a hairy, bald, dad who is never seen without a stetson cowboy hat and a “bomb j-pan again” t-shirt in public.
3. thinks any game after 1999 is played by frat boys and dirty peasants.
4. is a die hard pc gamer who blame console gamers for fallout 3’s success, even though the game sold better on the pc.
5. scary as it sounds, probably argues with people outside of the internet on this subject.
6. spends a lot of time on the no mutants allowed and rpg codex forums with his other elitist b-tt head cohorts.
7. has most likely never kissed a girl.

the second faction isn’t any better. in fact, it’s worse in a way. while fans of the original series are balding republicans, fans of fallout 3 are mostly comprised of generation y adhd ridden pre-teens who can’t spell or form coherent sentences. a fallout 3 fanboy can be identified with these traits:
1. a rabid fan of the third installment of fallout who has never touched a game before halo: combat evolved was released.
2. steadfast declaration that isometric games are dead, completely ignoring that diablo iii, starcraft ii, dawn of war, company of heroes, and halo wars actually exist.
3. abusing the english language on message boards with their limited knowledge of junior high vocabulary and grammar.
4. resorting to ad hominem and non-sequitur attacks during an argument, once again with their limited knowledge of logical fallacies.
5. using fallout 3’s reviews as defense, unaware that the majority of gaming journalists are paid under the table by companies.
6. is too thick in the head to comprehend rpgs with hard numbers and calculated combat.
7. also has most likely never kissed a girl.

then there are those of us who don’t give a hoot in h-ll and would rather chill by the fire with a nice cold gl-ss of guinness, that is if we aren’t enjoying all of the games in the series.

and of course there are those who liked brotherhood of steel, but most of us would like to deny the existence of such a twisted human being.
“dang, this fallout drama gives me such a headache, i’ll never look at the games the same way again.”

“i’d rather give a grizzly bear an indian burn than take part in fallout drama again.”