Family Reunion


the awkward get together your parents make you go to where you stand around for hours with random relatives, some of which you either despise or don’t actually know.

they come up to you and shout random things and kiss your cheeks.
mom- you have to go to the family reunion! you have no choice!

(later…)

aunt sally- my! you’ve grown! you look just like your uncle rufus!
kid- oh thanks!
then, to him/herself: …rufus is the ugliest f-ck i’ve ever met…
where your parents/grandparents make you go to be around people you have never seen in your life.
at home… || you: no mom, no! i’m not going somewhere that has old women who i’ve never met before pinching my cheek!
mom: -trying to pull you of the staircase banister- you’re…going…and…that’s…final!!
you: -being dragged to the car- no!!!
at the family reunion…
some old lady that’s related to you: -grabs your cheek with finger nails that feel like electricity- so cute! she looks exactly like her aunt myrtle!
you: -to yourself- who the h-ll is myrtle?! -then out loud- help i need an adult who isn’t covered in wrinkles!
the sh-ttiest event you will ever have to attend. you will meet people you dont know and they will be the worst people ever
bill: i have a f-cking family reunion this weekend.
jim: that sucks
bill : yah theyll be f-cking r-t-rds.
when you get together with family members. a reminder as to why you moved away in the first place.

also known as “southern speed dating”.
friend: “man, i don’t want to go to my family reunion.”
me: “why not?”
friend: “my uncle… he has a problem with touching….”
a short but catchy song by blink-182, in which every word is a curse word.

chorus: sh-t p-ss f-ck c-nt c-ck sucker mother f-cker t-ts fart t-rd and tw-t!
tyler- “t-ts fart t-rd and tw-t”
josh- “what are you singing?”
tyler- “family reunion by blink-182”
josh- “whats a tw-t?”
tyler- “you dumn-ss”

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