Fauxbucks
faux-bucks
1.) a wannabe starbucks most often found inside book stores and workplace coffee carts. these impostors locations fool people into thinking they are getting quality starbucks coffee with signs that display the starbucks logo and state “we proudly brew starbucks coffee.” these impostor locations are not actual starbucks stores and often hire ex cons (you can tell by the homemade prison tattoos on their hands, neck and face) and/or former hotel maids with limited command of the english language as coffee pourers. the term barista is not appropriate in this setting as these employees are barely qualified to operate a keurig and have no business pouring a chai peppermint anything.
guy1: “mind if we drive to starbucks so i can get a grande extra hot soy with extra foam, split shot with a half squirt of sugar-free vanilla and a half squirt of sugar-free cinnamon?”
guy 2: “we don’t have to have to go all the way to starbucks, there is a barnes and n-ble across the street.”
guy 1: “barnes & n-ble, f-ck that, i ain’t going to no fauxbucks!”
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