Flagstone
the actual place that most parents refer to when they tell their kids that their pet went to “doggy heaven” or “kitty heaven”. upon arrival, pets are ushered into a room, where they get to view the film “the incredible mr. limpet” (especially exciting for the goldfish). afterwards, they are all fed (directly from the table, of course – this is a form of pet heaven) and given clothes (if they are not a dog – dogs have their clothes taken away, because they hate those things – remember that pet owners – they are already wearing their own sweater). from their, they are all given a proper perch so that they may watch over their former owners and guide them through the rest of their lives. just something to remember next time you choose to beat your dog just before going into surgery. of course, you should continue to choke your chicken and spank your monkey prior to surgery, but those are givens (well, takens).
kid: mommy, what happened to sprinkles?
mom: sprinkles went to flagstone honey.
kid: that makes me very sad. plus, i have my cancer removal surgery tomorrow. i really wanted sprinkles to be there.
mom: i get the feeling that he’ll be there the whole time.
kid: you’re so flagstone mommy, i love you.
mom: drink your barium dear.
kid: yummm… chemoey!
a n-z- fascist regime that disguises its purpose of promoting one-sided religious and political views under the guise of an ordinary place of business. carol-anne, stay away fromt he blue light… don’t believe the friendly message about the weather… it is a trap!
person 1: flagstone, hmmm, that looks like a nice business to work for. they even have a friendly blue sign out front. blue is a happy color.
person 2: i heard that happiness dies when you walk through the door.
person 3: sometimes sos messages flash across that sign, but are quickly discovered and removed. i think people are trapped in there.
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