Fort Irwin

a military installation in the mojave desert of california. is 3 hours away from the nearest city, and 45 minutes away from the nearest town–barstow–which is little more than a collection of meth labs and trailer parks. touted by top br-ss as the ‘cutting edge’ maneuver training center, it is instead where those who have never fought a war attempt to teach tactics to thrice-over veterans of recent conflicts. when not conducting combat operations in iraq, soldiers stationed at this base are known for their alcoholism, occasional proclivity toward crystal meth and lack of free time or a normal s-x life.
soldier’s friends at home: “wow, you’re stationed in california, you’re lucky…”
soldier: “it’s not california like in chips; it’s fort irwin. just shut the f-ck up. you don’t know what the f-ck you’re talking about.”
friends: “..are you okay? you used to be such a sweet boy…”
one of the sh-ttiest places anyone will ever encounter in their whole life. n-body f-ckin likes it here, and if you say you do – you’re lying! who you kiddin??
for those of you men looking to get laid, keep looking. there are no women at fort irwin and the ones that are here fall into one of the following categories: fat and ugly, pregnant, or an alcoholic.

however, there is an awesome night club on base – c-ck wave, i mean, err shock wave! it’s a cl-ster f-ck of sausages and intoxicated soldiers who hate their lives because they are literally signed to a contract saying they must either live at fort irwin, or blow your brains out.
once in a rare, rare while, you will meet someone who actually enjoys living in the f-ckin desert. this person is automatically a douche bag and probably hasnt enjoyed much of anything in their life. if you ever meet this person, please tell them to go “f-ck themselves” and keep moving.
friend 1: “i feel so bad for bill, he just got orders to fort irwin.”
friend 2: “wow! that really sucks. i heard its the worst place on earth.”
the most hated duty station in the united states army. you work 18 days straight a month, its super hot, or super cold. you are 30 miles to the nearest town. nearest city is victorville an hour away. commuting fort irwin road is the worst drive you’ll ever encounter. this place is misery, avoid at all cost. even if you are from southern california i.e. (los angeles, orange, san diego, san bernandino counties) avoid. you wont be able to go home if you are -ssigned to the 11th armored calvary regiment, only on four days then you have to drive back up to this sh-thole.
pvt. so. cal: “i am reenlisting to go home, going to fort irwin.”

sgt smart: “it’s not worth it, trust me fort irwin is the most hated duty station in the united states army.”