Four Loko

legalized cocaine in a can. if you consume four lokos you can expect to encounter the same results typically -ssociated with snorting a small mountain of cocaine.
“my dealer isn’t picking up” “okay whatever we’ll just get some four lokos instead”
extremely high abv (11/12%) caffeinated malt beverage that one ups its predecessor sparks both by coming in 23.5oz size and containing nearly twice the amount of alcohol. perfect for pregaming, but can easily result in blackouts and various kinds of embarr-ssing behavior.
i acted such a fool off that four loko
a strong malt beverage with 12% alcohol content. due to the rising numbers in illegal mexican immigrants, it makes sense that we are finally marketing malt beverages toward people of mexican or latin american decent. extremely cheap, usually $3, so now everyone can afford to get wasted. its closest relative would be steel reserve 211, joose, or sparks, however four loko is much more delicious. four loko can be found in a variety of different delicious flavors such as orange, fruit-punch, grape, watermelon, and blue raspberry.

four loko got its name because it sends the person who consumed it into four stages of crazy:

stage 1: tipsy (loud, might stumble, laugh)
stage 2: drunk (embar-ssing, stumbling, slight slur)
stage 3: wasted (heavy slur, falling, hitting on fat girls)
stage 4: black out (no ability to speak, vomiting, waking up next to a fat girl, memory loss)

thank you to our “south of the border” friends for inspiring such an amazing drink.

caution: men should not consume more than 3 at the most. women should not consume more than 1. although 12% alcohol content is not extremely high, the crack that is injected inside the can after bottling is finished sends your brain into a fiesta you are sure to never remember.
pedro: “yo ese, wanna get some four loko?”

garcia: ” ay ya ya, i don’t know buddy, that sh-t f-cked me up last time. remember? i went home with the donkey girl”

pedro: “si senor. i think i am going to get some. i want to find a girl like donkey girl”

garcia: “ay dios mio!” (oh my g-d)
a delicious way to black out in the form of a colorful can of caffeinated malt bevy. too bad central washington university rookies ruined it for the entire state of washington and got it banned by almost dieing during their process of consumption.
cwu rookies: “i think ima black out and p-ss the f-ck out along with 9 other p-ssys while being unresponsive and get rushed to the hospital, almost die, and then be at fault for the ban on four loko!!!”

wsu, uw, gon, (+ any other college in wa): “god dammit cwu…gtfo!!!”
four loko is a 23.5 oz “alcopop” that is 12% abv, that is
1. guaranteed to get you drunk
2. guaranteed to prevent your drunk -ss from falling asleep
i was up all night drinkin’ that four loko.
a beverage which blesses its consumers with instant drunkenness
man, i drank a four loko last night and woke up next to some naked girl… i still don’t know her name!
the craziest sh-t out! loko is a crazy alcoholic energy drink that has 11% alcohol and tastes like hawaiian punch
all my boyz r gettin crazy off the four loko.