Fredericksburg, TX
fredericksburg, texas is a medium sized sh-thole which only is beneficial if you are a wealthy person from austin, san antonio or dallas and just need a weekend “to get away from it all.”
if you are a native fredericksburgian, there is a 50% chance you’ll marry your high school f-ck buddy, a 20% chance you’ll become a pothead and work on main street, and a 29% chance that you will go to a university in texas and maybe do something with your life. that one remaining percent are the people smart enough to get as far away from it as f-cking possible.
if you are still attending school here, watch out. here are a few guidelines:
-don’t sleep with your teacher. we all know what happened there.
-don’t haze tivy. well, don’t get caught hazing tivy.
-watch out for those d-mn car accidents that seem to claim one of us every so often as a cautionary tale.
-for the love of g-d, don’t become a fredericksburg hipster. no one cares that you went to acl.
-this will all be over soon. :d
i feel like we should end all the hopes you have, so we’re moving to fredericksburg, tx!
there’s nothing to do in fredericksburg, tx, so why don’t we beg our older siblings to buy us beer, get wasted, go to the marketplatz and p-ss in the water wheel?
i’m young, semi-attractive and living in fredericksburg, tx; let’s go running on main street!
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