Free Candy


top definition
a hard hit in hockey by pittsburgh penguins defenseman brooks orpik.
brooks orpik was giving out some free candy left and right.
3 more definitions
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2
(n.) the most likly bait a pedo will use. most likely obtained from the end of a white van with no windows, white, and has “free candy, totally legit” written in brown, red or black paint. found in parks, playgrounds, schools, and sometimes disguised as a ice cream truck, but instead serves free candy and molestation.
mom: “what did you do in school today son?”
billy: ” i got free candy!”
mom: “what!?”
billy: “yea it came with the tight pants and shirt. he took a picture of me as well!”
3
candy given away, often by really nice people in beat-up vans.

occasionally refers to candy found in dumpsters, toilets, yards, or other sanitary sources.
on my 54th birthday, a man driving a rainbow 1978 ford pinto with the words “free candy” scratched in the side invited me in for some free candy. i jumped up and down giddily and accepted the offer.
4
it’s a reference to “a running joke at the pensblog is that they think that brooks orpik looks like a child molester and they call him the candy man and throw his picture up inside of a van with ‘free candy’ on the side. don’t get it twisted.
that brooks orpik looks like a pedophile. he likes little kids units and hands out free candy as he asks them to come into his bas-m-nt. he’s also slow as a snail.

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