Fuck me pumpers
a phrase derived from the song “f-ck me pumps” recorded by amy “trainwreck” winehouse.
“f-ck me pumpers” is an adjective for the person wearing the pumps. “f-ck me pumpers” have a tendency to seek out friendships with women 5-10 years younger than they are in order to hit on the guys that approach them. they come off friendly and inviting but that is just a ploy to reel a man in so they can agressively and wontonly pursue him, whether he is attracted to them or not. the more a man resists, the more aggressive and demanding they become.
“f-ck me pumpers” have a hard time taking no for an answer and should a man they have set their sights on cave and engage in any form of physical contact with them, be it “fooling around” or actual s-x, you are considered their property and they will use any and all tactics in their -rs-nal to showcase their achievement with you as the trophy. they will -ssume authority over all aspects of your life and try to control and manipulate all of your personal and professional relationships. should you later regret the -ssociation with a “f-ck me pumper” and try to sever ties, she will turn on you in a heartbeat and use the same shady tactics she used to get you against you. she will use emotional blackmail, feigned emotions, and outright threats. best thing to do when approached by a “f-ck me pumper” is to break the wrist and walk away…don’t even smile as they might take that as a sign of approval and acceptance. just.walk.away.
guy 1: i’m thinking of fooling around with one of the “f-ck me pumpers” at work. she’s not all that hot, but she’s all over my d-ck, and i like the attention right now.
guy 2: don’t do it! the last time i fooled around with a f-ck me pumper she acted like we were engaged or something. she stalked all these girls that liked me, caused all kinds of drama, and i didn’t even f-ck her.
guy 1: whaaaaaaaaat???? you didn’t even f-ck her?
guy 2: no dude. she wasn’t that hot. i just fooled around with her a little, let her grab on my package and b-tch went all fatal attraction on me and sh-t.
guy 3: yeah flip that. this girl ain’t even a 5 outta 10. thanks for the warning bro.
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