gabist
{gabe’-ist}
one who follows in the teachings of gabism. the primary philosophical doctrine of a gabist is the eternal mystery of “what is fudge?” the first of these enlightened folk was gabriel alexander benjamin long, who founded this religion in 2014.
once a man walked into a room. he looked at everyone in the room and found a man, a blacksican to be specific. he sat beside the man, and the man was scratching his head. in front of him was a piece of paper. all over, it said, “what is fudge?” i asked him what this was all about. he stood up, and ripped his shirt off! he pounded his chest in tarzan style! he let out a mighty grunt! he started reiterating, “bad! bad! bad!” immediately, everyone in the room received an epiphany! they all went to the fudge store and bought fudge! they later went on to become gabists, preaching the teachings of gabriel alexander benjamin long, as the found his name to be.
-from the book of gabe, second gabylonians 11 : 54
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