Glen Oaks
a tree lined, clean, and safe neighborhood at the eastern end of queens ny, bordering n-ssau county. unlike the rest of queens, there are no guidos, greeks, or eastern europeans in glen oaks, only skaters, whiggers, stoners, and a sh-tload of brown people (indians, pakistanis, guyanese). recently there has been an influx of middle cl-ss black families. as late as 2000, there were virtually no franchise restaurants in the neighborhood, including the major commercial strip on union turnpike. after 2000 mcdonald’s and dunkin donuts replaced a fresh produce store and fish market. mcdonalds and dunkin donuts have become hangouts and the neighborhood is less beautiful as a result. people from the rest of queens notice our quiet streets and believe they are in long island while people from long island notice bodegas and halal carts and think they’ve entered an urban h-llhole. worst part about glen oaks is that the zoned high school is martin van buren, however virtually no one from glen oaks actually goes there. brighter kids attend bronx science, stuyvesant or townsend harris while average kids will go to catholic school or lie about their address. everything about this definition applies also to the adjacent neighborhoods of floral park (flo town) and bellerose (h-llrose)
person from western queens: where are you from?
person from glen oaks: glen oaks, its on the n-ssau border
person from western queens: oh, you live in long island
person from glen oaks: not really, i have a 718 phone #, i watch ny1, and i went to nyc public schools.
guy from glen oaks: i’m from glen oaks
guy from long island: whoa, don’t shoot me
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