glen rock

a small, beautiful town in bergen county, new jersey. where the kids are nice, hott & do exceptionally well in sports. most sports. known as “the bubble” to the locals. when graduates go to college, they long the await to return to the rock. everyone knows everyone’s business, no doubt about it. you can walk through town and name 98% of the people you see, wheather it be just first or last names, you know them some way or another. john’s owns aldo’s: fact of life. you call ridgewood kids pansies, because that’s what they are.

all the kids from surrounding areas wish to be them.

cough ridgewood kids
ridgewoodkid: whoa man! did you see that girl? i think she’s from glen rock!
friend of kid: whoa nelly! yeah, she’s too hott to be from ridgewood, she must be from glen rock.
ridgewoodkid: should i ask for her number?
friend of kid: she’ll turn you down man! you’re sc-m to her!
a town in bergen county, new jersey. the average household income for residents of glen rock is $104,192 (year 2000). the average home value was $316,900 in the year 2000. it is a predominantly white town.

glen rock is named after a large glacial stone that was deposited there during the ice age.

$421,092 is total “richness factor” (home values plus income).
“i’ll be taking the train to glen rock”

“which one?”

“what do you mean?”

(hits head with hand)
everyone in glen rock is insanely hott and fun. they are hilarious and aren’t all sn-bby or pretend or anything. the schools are awesome and it’s an awesome hang-out town! we’ve got awesome stores and everyone knows each other. there are no secrets in glen rock. if you have one, don’t tell it. there aren’t any bad people except for the ones who come from paterson at night. we have 4 elementary schools, 1 middle school, combined with a high school. we have a really good faculty and the academics are very good as well as fun. the sports are awesome too.
ridgewood kid: “wow this town has real people not fakes like ridgewood.”
glen rock kid: “that’s how we do it here in glen rock. we’re so awesome we don’t need to pretend that we are.”
a town with ridgewood wannabes. it’s kind of sad, they try so hard but fail terribly.
ridgewood kid: ew, look at those glen rock wannabes!
other ridgewood kid: they are so nouveau riche, not cl-ssy and rude. at least we have some cl-ss unlike them.
the town filled largely with ridgewood wanna-be’s. there is a nice pool, and small downtown area, but the town is mostly posers.
ridgewood kid: is that kid from ridgewood?
friend: no, they’re from glen rock.
ridgewood kid: ew!