grizzly bear

one b.a.m.f. of a bear. unlike it’s relative the brown bear, this beast will kick the ever loving sh-t out of you. seriously, these things are huge mother f-ckers, and could kick mr. t’s -ss. if you encounter a grizzly, don’t run; they’re faster. don’t try to climb a tree; they’re faster. don’t hide; they’re smarter. and they can see through walls. and trees. they grizzly was once very similar to the brown bear, but while the brown bear decided to go on its p-ssy b-tch ways, the grizzly decided to break anything that tried f-cking with it, from small children to garbadge trucks. over time, this case of serious bad -ssery allowed the grizzly to evolve and level up, allowing him to gain new abilities, skils and powers. once the grizzly reaches a new level (which should be within the next year if it continues its grinding patterns), it will gain the lazer eye ability, poplarized by the great eagle of anubarak. needles to say, once the grizzly reaches level 527, we’re all pretty much f-cked. running a simulation to detrermine the average experience per annum devided by the increasing level requirement, we can predict the grizzly will rule the world by mid-to-late 22 century. the only option and chance of survival if a grizzly is encountered on your travels is to seranade it by speaking kindly and softy (and possibly making slight innuendo implications), and praying not only to your god, but to every god you know of that the monster before you takes pitty on your pathetic attempt to beg for your life, and decides your tough meat might infect its young and you’re too feeble for it to simply club to death with its m-ssive, yet somehow gentle claws. that, or if you have a gun. a f-cking huge gun. oh, and in the case of a zombie invasion, if there are zombie grizzlys, the world is f-cked. straight up. that is, if the grizzly can get infected. that means the zombies would have to get close enough to the bear to bite it. and that’s just plain not going to happen. rest easy young ones, rest easy. for now.
joe: omfg bob, that’s a grizzly bear!

-in a matter of seconds, due to the lack of response from bob, joe will realise bob ran upon seeing the bear and neglected to tell joe out of pure fear and as to give him a better chance of escaping. joe dies within 0.02 seconds of this realisation, and despite his obvious advantage, bob is hunted and killed within 0.04 seconds. you see, when your chance of escape is 0%, it doesn’t matter how much you multiply it by, you’re still f-cked.-
when a guy shaves his pubic hair and hides them under a pillow, then while receiving felatio, he pulls out, -j-c-l-t-s in her face, and pushes her face into the pile of p-b-s. when she comes up, she will be covered in p-b-s, giving the appearance of a grizzly bear, then (understandably angry) wil make noise that make her sound like a grizzly as well -grrrrr-
“i gave this girl a grizzly bear, d-mn was she p-ssed”
packing a lip of awesome grizzly wintergreen, mint, straight, or natural tobacco.
i packed huge grizzly bears when playing mario cart.
no match for the guy on a buffalo.
a grizzly bear is no match for the guy on a buffalo.

“oh, no! he’s gonna chase me! oh, no. i better just turn around and chase him back. guess what?! i’m on a buffalo.”
an annoying piece of sh-t who take’s things too seriously
dude that guy is a f-cking grizzlybear
when you shave off your pubic hairs and save them. then after blowing your load in a girls face, blow the p-b-s on her and roar like a grizzly bear.
man that girl was p-ssed when i did the grizzly bear on her.
an old man who dates woman considerabley younger than him. usually wealthy, they often attract models and gold diggers. the male equivalant of a cougar.
guy: “did you hear hugh hefner has already moved in three new girlfriends?”
guy 2: “yeah man, what a grizzly bear.”

←