Hamline Desperatitis
this is a syndrome that first-year females can be diagnosed with this syndorme. the freshmen cl-ss at hamline is 58% female and 42% male. because of this, some females become even more desperate to claim a man before they are all taken. their desperation gets to the point of daily entertainment. this can be contagious for the more desperate one female is, the more others will be to out do them.
symptons include: drawing pictures of jerseys with the number “69” on it in order to show sport-oriented men and saw they drew it “accidiently”. wearing heels they cannot walk in. having a family member rent out a hotel at a casino for two over spring break and telling the male it is a surprise vacation for him. dumbing themselves down in math courses in order to ask him for help. getting to cl-ss extra early so they can place their stuff down on the chair next to the one the gentlemen sits in, than sitting down in the chair on the other side of his. turning their legs so the are under his small desk which is attached to chair. resting their arms on his desk as he continues to scoot his body further away. after all of these attempts, still not having his number or have been asked out yet.
that poor girl had no control over coming down with hamline desperat-tis.
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