hava
the s-xiest girl in my neighbourhood
when i see hava i get d-ck cramps
truly a debonair individual, a hava is characterized not only by incredible sideburns, but also by the edwardian charm that accompanies them. accomplished in many art forms, a hava will often be seen painting exquisite formations while nodding genuinely to trumpets, most likely with spirits of the twist-top variety as an accompaniment. havas are pleased by m-ffins, slow claps, and activities native to the british empire, and are additionally and exceptionally thrilled by cats of the long variety. havas are displeased by excessive and brutish displays of bro-hood yet will happily create venomously eloquent barrages of impressive vocabulary to confuse said plebes, taking special delight in their faulty use of the double negative. thrilled by the worlds of science and antiquity, a hava is at once immersed in both the past and the future, while retaining a present rife with wit and all forms of poetry. havas come equipped with a shakespearean turn of phrase for every occasion.
“holy sh-t, a bro stampede! i wish i had a hava handy to obliterate these fools!”
“egad, is that a genuine 18th century pocket watch? how delightfully hava.”
“the way you’re spreading that hot mustard is incorrigible, could you be any more hava?”
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