Search

originally a darkhorse comic which debuted in ’94, it was created by mike mignola, who based it upon a number of different things, but namely his father.

mignola’s dad was a normal, blue-collar guy who worked in a machine shop- every day he’d come home with lacerations and cuts on his arms, which would horrify/amaze mike-

“jeez dad- what happened to your arms?!?!”
“ahh i got ’em caught in a machine, couldn’t pull ’em out untill larry turned of the power.”
(mike faints.)

the comic ‘h-llboy’ is an amalganation of everything mignola likes to draw and read- monsters, lovecraftian literature, gothic/victorian arcitecture and art, etc….

h-llboy himself was summoned here to earth as a baby by the n-z-s right before the war ended, to awaken the ogdru-jahad, seven monstrous ent-ties bound in golden coc–ns in the place between earth and heaven- the coldest region of sp-ce. however, the allies interveened just in time, defeated the n-z-s, and instead of killing h-llboy, raise him to be good- the worlds greatest paranormal investigator, as it was!

this was later adopted into a movie by guillermo del toro, who also did devil’s backbone and cronos- he loved the comics (this is why it turned out so good) but changed many things to add himself to the project, giving him a love interest and downplaying rasputin, the villain a bit.

but the movie was still beautiful, and a sequel is coming in 2006- which will be much better, in the same way x-men 2 was better than xm1- the first got the character developement out of the way. del toro will now have his gloves off with this one- it looks very promising.

the reason why h-llboy is so great is that he was created just for releasing the ogdru jahad- it is his purpose, his reason to be, his destiny- but no matter what happens and how he is tempted or how the odds seem against him, he always chooses not to lose himself, and to save the earth- showing us that we are not pre-determined to live our destiny.
h-llboy, after strapping a bomb to himself, allowing himself to be eaten by a many-armed behemoth, blowing it up from the inside and landing on his back:

(getting up)
“i’m gonna be sore in the morning.”
(as if it was nothing!)
see ron perlman.
“aw cr-p,”- h-llboy.
-n-l intercourse using icy-hot as lubrication.
“man, i sure gave her a h-llboy last night!”
tha sorriest krew i ever heard of
h-ll boys suck d-ck!!!!
see oprah winfrey
dude, i hear that h-llboy gained seventy pounds in one month.
that’s not surprising.
a girl that kicks so much -ss she needn’t be called anything but h-llboy.

h-llraiser.
picture a guy named “h-llboy”, that’s what he looks like.

oh h-llboy!

hey h-llboy, nice bewbs.
(n.)a confusing -ss movie, loosely based on the cult comic book for nerds everywhere of the same name, it pretty musch goes like this:

n-z-s at the end of wwii decide to conjure up supernatural forces in order to try and win the war and open up a gateway into sp-ce where this demon of the apocolypse is at, and the us military shuts down their evil plans, but not before a baby demon slips through the portal. the us military adopts the demon and name him h-llboy.

h-llboy grows up to be a superhero for the government along with some psychic sea monster thing named abe sapien (because he was found the day abe lincoln was -ssainiated) and they together fight monsters and stuff. a third hero, who’s a firestarter named liz comes in, but can’t control her fire powers and usually ends up blowing up everything.

the evil n-z-s come back 60 years later from wwii and try and conjure up the apocolypse god demon that will destroy the earth, but need h-llboy this time to open the gate. so while they get ready, the preoccupy the government freaks with a bunch of monster demons that are hard to kill and can rapidly lay eggs. for a good 1/3rd of the movie, h-llboy and his teammates try and stop the monsters from destroying the city and laying more eggs.

the good guys eventually come back to the n-z- mansion from wwii in order to kill the rest of the monster demons, and their eggs, that the supernatural n-z-men have set up for them. thet all explore the mansion, but get spli up and each run into trouble. after taking out a whole nest of eggs, they’re left weak from the ordeal and captured by the n-z-s who hold liz ransom in exchange for h-llboy opening the gates to the apocolypse.

h-llboy, who develops a romantic relationship with her throughout the movie, decides to at first open the gates, and then not at the last moment. he does open them enough thouh, to get the n-z-s killed by demons. h-llboy manages to save liz and the two at the end, literallly make some hot, freak lovin’.
i just told you the whole movie. now, you don’t have to waste your $9 seeing it. it’ll just confuse you, like it did me. unless you’re a supergeek, who reads h-llboy comics.