Hexcel

formally known as “excel,” but complements of the rage (and eye spasms) you feel from spending mind numbing hours in front of the computer screen working on spreadsheets, v-lookups, pivot tables, sumifs, conditional formatting, ocd formatting standards and blah blah blah, you can now only refer to it vehemently as “hexcel.” you direct this bitterness toward your computer screen as you feel your eyes could melt away from the exponential amount of size six font you constantly stare at and scroll through. you also feel that human contact is no longer an aspect of your job — any and all conversing you partake in is done strictly through e-mail (even if the person you need to ask a question is a mere two feet away). this leaves you only more time to stare at hexcel, becoming ever aware of how this program has “hexed” your life because you have recently been experiencing the early signs of carpel tunnel, blindness and internal combustion.
after manually entering cell fu68735 into your excel spreadsheet, you have a fit of “desk rage” when your company-wide drive crashes (which is a frequent occurrence), resulting in a loss of all information you have been keying for the past three days. realizing you will have to redo everything, you silently fume while becoming more and more violent with your keyboard as you re-enter all this information. finally, the deadline for the project is up and you e-mail it off, relieved you are finished, proud of your hard work (done twice) and knowing your next project is due… yesterday. the e-mail you get back says: “what the h-ll am i going to do with this m-ssive excel spreadsheet? this is worthless.” you say: “oh, you mean the m-ssive hexcel spreadsheet i spent four painstaking weeks creating and then recreating?” asdjabdabsdlasbdiwqeurdbasjhf bsdcsdbfshbf