High Tech Red Neck

someone whose windows wallpaper is peeling.
bubba: how come y’all got dat ol newspaper duck-taped over yer computer screen?
htrn: dat’s so’s da neighbors cain’t be lookin in thru mah winderz!
someone who doubles the value of hiz truck by installing a radio in it.
bubba: dat sh-r- looks better’n dat hole in yr dashboard.
htrn: yeah, and one of these dayz i might git it ta work!
someone whose car in the driveway is propped up on old ibm at cases instead of concrete blocks.
bubba: is dat car ever gonna run agin?
htrn: i dunno, i sold da wheelz fr beer money.
someone who uses a spreadsheet to keep track of which reletives he’s slept with…and how much they charged him.
bubba: how much do you pay fr s-x?
htrn: a nickel’s a nickel, a penny’s a penny, kinfolk p-ssy is as good as any.
someone who thinks da information superhighway might be a good place to hunt fr road kill.
bubba: mmmnn…boy howdy, these chips are good
htrn: hang on an i’ll go back out an scr-pe some more off da road fur ya
someone who patches da holez in da roof of hiz trailer with free aol discs.
bubba: hot d-mn! version 9 is here at last!
htrn: good! git up thar on da roof & fix it before it starts ta rain agin.
someone who has a t-3 line running to his outhouse.
bubba: say, where d’y’all keep yer sears catalogue?
htrn: hit’s rat chair under da router.

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