Hiptard

person that is too hip to be able to do operate correctly as a standard hipster. this person, while not necessarily mentally handicapped, displays cognitions of being hip just for the sake of being hip.
look at that dude over there on his macbook pro. he is obviously too much of a ‘hiptard’ to be able to troubleshoot standard hardware.
“one who is a hiptard” from hip-ster and re-tard :: a disparaging variant of hipster; a r-t-rded hipster.

noun, recently-settled urban middle cl-ss adults and older teenagers with interests in non-mainstream fashion and culture, particularly alternative music, indie rock, independent film, magazines such as vice and clash, and websites like pitchfork media. in some contexts, hiptards are also referred to as scenesters.

the largest concentration of hiptards has been found in the san francisco bay area where they are found riding fixies and drinking pbr at bars with oversized messenger bags, if the hiptard is wearing pants only one cuff can be seen rolled up; and a keychain or any sort of large key holder is visibly attached to a belt hoop.
converse of object age: “everyone needs to show id to buy beer at a gig, even an aging hiptard like myself.” modifies a noun :: jeans: “i really can’t get to grips with these hiptard jeans.”

sample hiptard conversation:

hiptard # 1: “hey dude let’s ride our fixies down valencia street to the bar.”

hiptard # 2: “meet me outside we’ll lock both our bikes with my u-lock.” -gets pbr out of messenger bag and hands one to his friend-

hiptard #1: “word, bro.” -uses own keychain bottle opener attached to his jeans to open it”
an alternate name for a hipster.
the neighborhood i grew up in is now full of unemployed but rich hiptards who are giving me att-tude at work.
hip + r-t-rd a person who is mentaly r-t-rded that displays hipness. you might have pity for a r-t-rd, but you would party with a hiptard cause they rock.
keith has downs syndrome but really likes to rock out to motorhead and pound back brew. don’t call him a r-t-rd, refer to keith as a ”hiptard”.
a hipster who has taken it a little to far. in short, someone who has take the style and the culture of being a hipster to such a level, they don’t even realize they look and act like an idiot.
i would like to go to my local café, but lately its be over run by hiptards.
a hippie r-t-rd

hippie + r-t-rd = hiptard
my co-worker sure is a hiptard!

hey tom, look at the hiptard!

i hope the hiptard chokes on one of her vegan p-n-s meals.