Idiocite

a female between the age of thirteen and eighteen who exhibits the following characteristics:
– corrects people’s already correct grammar
– wears bronzer that is far too dark for her skin
– wears midriff-baring tops to events such as funerals and children’s birthday parties
– always, always wears fringed moccasin boots
– says things like “i’m very politically involved. i’ve been watching the presidential elections every two years since i was little!”
– thinks that she can twerk
– takes a huge number of selfies
– wears “viva la juicy” by juicy couture

idiocites travel in large herds, and their approach is often heralded by the tell-tale ‘swish-swish’ of the fringes on their moc-ssin boots. avoiding idiocites is an acquired skill, and can only ever be truly accomplished by constant vigilance, and avoiding the following areas:
– starbucks
– high school girls’ bathrooms
– sephora
– steve madden outlet stores
– under 21 clubs
idiocite
example a:
alyssa: hey, mary, you should come to starbucks with janie and me after cl-ss.
janie: you’re so dumb, alyssa! it’s ‘janie and i’!
mary: …no. no it’s not. please refrain from correcting other people’s grammar, until you yourself have a good handle on the english language. idiotcite.

example b:

mark: …dude, did you hear that? -looks around fearfully-
josh: no, what is it?
mark: it’s the swish-swish-swish of moc-ssin boots!
josh: no! we are not going down today, man. i’m too young to die!
mark: i’ll make for the east exit, you take the south. we’ll reconvene behind the football field.
josh: if i don’t make it, tell my mom i love her.