Irish Alarm Clock
f-ck. off. sigh. no more fart, alcohol, potato, or poor jokes about us, please. we are people too, who have feelings, and it is offensive. we have gone through so much sh-t, don’t know if any of you sh-theads realize it, but we have. no, the blacks weren’t alone. sure they had slavery, but we had f-ckin brits on us, fire us first, hire us last. we were always poor, slaved in factories, were kept down by the brits, made to build a wall, many died in the process. little kids. elderly, sick, tired people. everyone gets jumped on for being racist about african-americans now, but what about all the f-ckin irish jokes? cut it out. my grandma came to america when she was 18, and everyone made her embarr-ssed about her heritage. she was too shy to talk. then, she met grandpa. =) he understood her. now she’s pretty well off, rich actually. i have only faced a little racism, i don’t really have an accent, no (well, some people say i talk a little weird, lol), but when people find out i’m irish… there’s where the alcoholic jokes begin.
” hey, you ever give anyone an irish alarm clock?”
” go die in a hole.”
the act of squatting over somebodies face whilst they sleep. from here, you cry out their name and punch them in the b-lls so that they jerk forward in pain, leaving them prime for a fart directly on the mouth/nose.
“dude, dave was asleep so i gave him an isih alarm clock.”
“my wife often makes sure i wake up in time for work by using the irish alarm clock.”
when you’re woken by involuntary bowel movements in the early hours of the morning after drinking too many pints of guinness
don’t worry, i’ve set my irish alarm clock.
the sound someone makes when they overreact about nothing
person 1: hey did you hear that joke about the irish priest
person 2: hey quite down, you’ll set that stupid b-tches irish alarm clock off
stupid b-tch: waaaaaaa! -indeciferable wailing-
person 1&2: oh sh-t.
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