Jake Ryan


a term used by women to describe the “perfect boyfriend.” refers to the character portrayed by michael schoeffling in the quintessential 1980’s teen movie “sixteen candles”. women swoon over this idealized composite of the “perfect guy” but deep down know that one guy cannot possibly possess all of the qualities displayed onscreen by this actor: good looks, wealthy, courteous and respectful to privacy issues (as in where he picks up the “s-x test” dropped by molly ringwald’s character samantha in which she reveals she wants to do ‘it’ with jake; come on, most teen guys would be showing that thing off as a trophy and poor samantha’s psyche would be crushed.)

only onscreen would a perfect-looking guy dump his super-s-xy, shapely girlfriend for a skinny, gawky, freckled younger redheaded woman, who although smart, isn’t exactly a head-turner. yet women idealize jake ryan and all he stands for; for them he is their holy grail on two legs. rich, kind, considerate, polite to parents, not a bully, even rescues her from a horrific wedding only to surprise her with a birthday cake for a birthday everyone forgot. oh, and did i mention that he loves her as much as she loves him?

thankfully for us there’s movies…where we can lose ourselves in fantasy…if only for a while. even my wife thinks that “jake ryan” is the perfect guy…..and that’s ok. i always thought that the sister who was getting married in the film, ginny baker (played by blanche baker) was pretty hot….
girl # 1: oh my g-d! look at him, he’s so….so…
girl # 2: he’s totally jake ryan!
girl # 1: yes! (cries)
when you pick up a guy that is clearly hotter than you. from the movie, sixteen candles.
girl 1: what happened to you last night?
girl 2: i totally bagged myself a jake ryan!

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