Jay Leno Syndrome


when a person’s head is much fatter or larger than expected from the rest of their body. often, victims will have a perfectly thin or average body with a very large head, or a round face despite no other weight problem. the syndrome has been known to affect both men and women of all ages. there are only two known cures: reaching extreme obesity to offset the effects of the syndrome, or self-decapitation. the latter may kill you, but the syndrome dies as well.
has been known to affect:
jay leno (tonight show host and comedian)
aaron eckhart (actor “thank you for smoking”
david gilmour (pink floyd’s legendary guitarist and singer)
donald trump (billionaire real estate mogul)
garry shandling (comedian “the larry sanders show”)
jason bateman (actor “arrested development)
barry bonds (home run king and likely steroid user)
bruce willis (actor “pulp fiction)
“you know he’s only 180 pounds?”
“really? but his head’s so fat!”
“yeah, he’s got a major case of jay leno syndrome.”

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