Jehovahs Atheist
a know-it-all blowhard atheist who has managed to become as obnoxious as a jehovah’s witness with their anti-evangelical mission to use big words like science and logic and reason to prove whatever they say is true. (i.e. “you should have s-x with me because i am pro-science, if you don’t then you are a stupid religious bigot who believes in creationism and or molesting children!”) jehovah’s atheists usually don’t come to your door but they are all over facebook carefully reading your sentences, making sure there are no hidden theistic undertones, which would require they set you straight immediately. because obviously, if you are not in complete agreement with dawkins, hitchens, and the 19-year-old dude on the internet who makes atheist memes all day long, you are a bible-humping closeted christian.
“oh g-d, i accidentally said g-d in a colloquial context. here come the jehovahs atheists to tell me why i should not believe in g-d. oh cr-p, i said g-d again! oh no, they’re here! h-llo…yes…yes…okay…yes…hey look my new jehovah’s atheist friend, i really have to go to work now….but….yes…yes…i know, i know about bill nye and ken ham…yes i know there is no heaven and h-ll and if there was that would make g-d really mean…yes…yes…okay, fine. fine. please, yes, give that youtube link so i can educate myself. can i go now?!”
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