jesus handle


the handle above the windows in most cars, so called for the propensity of people to shout “oh jesus!” while clutching it in mortal terror at the driver’s skill level or sanity.

also known as an oh sh-t handle.
my aunt is such a terrible driver. whenever she drives everyone clings to their jesus handles.
the handles on your car used for

a) hanging dry cleaning

b) holding on to dear life while you are in some sort of accident, praying to jesus.

they are more commonly known as oh sh-t handles.
wendy made several tight swerves that caused bobby to crash into the window, so he held on to the jesus handles to steady himself.
noun: the handle located directly above p-ssenger seat doors which can be grabbed when divine intervention is required.
“the car slammed its breaks and allan grabbed the jesus-handle.”
the handles inside a car by the seats that be hung on to when swerving around tight corners and yelling “jesus!”
alice hung on with all her might to the jesus handles and yelled the accompanying expression as luke took a tight corner.
much like a regular “handle” of liquor, a jesus-handle is any quant-ty greater than 1.75 l of top-tier liquor. it is a colloquial for people who avoid the g-dless metric system, and believe that sermons are best preached from atop a bar-stool.
“sorority sisters just can’t hold a candle

to the st. mary’s girls when they grab my jesus-handle.”

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