Jewguar


a jewguar is an older and often attractive jewish woman, characterized by gaudy jewelry (pun intended) and an excessive amount of perfume (see eau de too much). her skin is in the early stages of leatherization largely due to spending a great deal of time doing absolutely nothing but lying in the sun. she is also under the impression that her characteristically large sungl-sses make her nose look smaller, which is false of course. while the range of the species spans the globe, the highest concentration of jewguars occurs in and around new york city, specifically long island and westchester county. they mainly hunt their prey (younger, unsuspecting men) at night and can be spotted at night clubs, bars and lounges usually with some variation of a martini in hand. they are often wealthy, coming from a wealthy family and/or by marriage, but may or may not be divorced. jewguars often travel in prides and should be approached with extreme caution. although they have the potential to make great sugar mamas, their incessant complaining is lethal and dangerous.
i went home with this hot jewguar friday night. we had brunch sat-rday morning and then she took me shopping at bloomingdales.

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