Joose

drank(premium malt beverage). similar to sparks, but much more hyphy. energy drink that gets one drunk.

“yo, how can i get faded tonight without chugging royal gate?”
“drink some joose, buh”
the nectar of the gods.

one joose and you’re having a d-mn good time

two jooses and you’re f-cked and a half

three jooses and there is a good chance of you getting arrested.

four jooses and you’re one dead n-gg-.
“yo are we drinkin joose tonight?”

“is that even a question? i want that purple stuff.”
a drink that many teenagers buy for its low price and high alcohol content.
friend1: yo lets get some 40’s
friend2: f-ck 40’s! one joose will give me a hard buzz.
for all times when you wanna get loose. most people probably drink it when they have no money, but it is appropriate at all times. when you haven’t slept in days due to studying and you want to get drunk and stay up til 5am instead of doing all of the school work that you should be doing drink this. it is a sure way to embarr-ss yourself and make bad life decisions. avoid blue and red flavors at all costs, orange and purple are acceptable and watermelon is the pinnacle (12% alcohol dude). combine with other drugs at your own risk…
snorting xanax + pabst + chugging joose in under 5 minutes = getting kicked out of boone saloon because you may have been crawling on the floor searching for that oh so precious last zanax, running out into the street, waking up not knowing where you are or why one of your legs is so messed up that you can’t walk on it or why you have bruises on your head.
crack in a can. you can pretty much commit a crime, and if your drinking joose you will get away with it!
when these girls drink joose they think they can fly
an absolutely pointless combination of a stimulant and a depressant.
the upper in joose says “let’s speed up!” the downer says “no, let’s slow down!” and your heart says “hm, let me stop for a minute and think about it…”
tastes better than four loko to people at times, but because four loko is more flavourable and tastes better depending on what taste you’re in the mood for at the time, and gets you drunker you’ll usually drink it instead.

but you’ll drink joose before you drink four loko if you’re new to malt liquor, because four loko has more alcohol content but joose is pretty high as well. you will most likely take your clothes off atleast once when drinking this stuff. you may do so if you drink four lokos as well.

beware, be careful, sh-t gets you drunk. it’s cheap. sweet.
“i went skinny dipping in the pool again…”
“what the h-ll were you drinking?!”
“well the first time it was joose, but this time i drank a four loko…”
“ahahahaha”