Jump the pot

a petty crime that occurs frequently at a shared coffeemaker. someone comes in and pulls the coffee pot out of the drip stream and catches a cupful for himself or herself, then replaces the pot and walks off letting the pot continue to fill. this is jumping the pot and it either signals a low iq or a psychopathic disregard for other people. how smart does one have to be to realize that coffee running through a drip filter comes through strong at first and weak at the finish? interrupting this flow either early or late queers the pot for everyone else by producing a final brew that is either stronger than desired or pathetically weak. it’s simple physics, not beyond the intelligence of your average coffee drinker. so it must be the case that pot-jumpers are simply moral sc-m. (the one exception would be if you were able to jump the pot exactly in the middle range of flavoring. then, arguably, the two interrupted halves would blend to form the desired brew. however, my extensive observations of pot-jumpers, who drift in to the coffee station from important meetings about empathy, social justice, and the perils of microaggressions – i work at a non-profit – tells me that even the practice of waiting for a point near the middle of the process is universally rejected by even the most socially-conscious jumpers.)

synonym: potus interruptus
sign at the coffee station: please, don’t jump the pot.

possible uses: “hey dude, i’ve been waiting here for ten minutes for coffee and you waltz in and jump the pot.”

“arg, this coffee tastes like sh-t. someone’s been jumping the pot.