Kesk
a kesk is a wild animal which greatly resembles a human being. the small appearence differences are the kesk’s taller body height, its longer nose and its particular – very unco running style.
the kesk’s main diet includes small friendship groups from between 2 and 5 members. when a kesk catchs sight of its prey it will sneak up from behind the small group and will stand at the perimeter of its people. there it will instanly suckle at the words and happiness of the people around it. it is unknown why this strange creature feeds like this, but it is theorised by many that by doing this the kesk some how feels liked in some one. the easiest and most common method of disposing of the kesk is to yell at it to p-ss off.
other ways of identifying a kesk are its very bad way of kicking own goals in soccer, its all round unco and clumsyness, and its very bad, almost painful come-backs it uses very consistanly.
another distinct characteristic of the kesk is his complete and utter ability to fail at all physical tasks it is set. examples include his inability to catch even the most easiest football, soccerball or basketball p-sses, the way he shoots a basketball, even if it is in the oppositions end of the court, or the way he can somehow score an own goal in soccer off the roof of the gym.
experts only advice on how to handle the kesk is to tell it to p-ss off, and ignoring it as best as you possibly can. other then this there have been no guarantee’d ways on being rid of the pest. however some reports say that some people have adapted a special kesk look which, when used properly, having been said to make the kesk disappear for several moments at a time.
mule, dan, lil and smit are all sitting at an aluminium table being merry. suddenly the kesk walks around the corner and instanly sights his prey. he moves in for the kill, lurking on the outskirts of the table, he listens in on the conversation taking place:
mule: fish outa’ water! fish outa’ water!!!
suddenly the group spots the kesk!
smit: kesk, what the f@#k are you doing here?
kesk: argh… i dunno…
dan: p-ss off kesk!
the group thinks they are now safe again, but alas, only moments later, the kesk returns. he believes no one will notice him if hes standing on the other side of the table…
smit: kesk! what the f@#k?!?! we just told you to p-ss off, now leave!
kesk walks off again, head between his tail, defeated… or so the group thinks…
10 minutes later…
dan: -stands up angrily- kesk why the h-ll are you still here???
kesk: ahhh… shut up
smit: p-ss off kesk…
‘to pull a kesk’ is to act on being h-m-s-xual to straight men. sometimes seen as a threat to men’s territory, it is often used in distaste, or negatively.
‘don’t you go all kesk on me!”
“yo, you kesk homedawg, get me another beer shizzle!”
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