kitchen floor reset
a term coined by british comedian russell kane.
when you have such a bad breakdown that you end up on your mother’s kitchen floor, crying your eyes out with snot all over your face, telling her that you’re convinced that you’ll never amount to anything/no-one will ever love you/you’re going to fail you’re uni course/etc.. it usually happens to young adults, mostly people who have just moved away from home, who suddenly realise that being a functioning adult is not as easy as it looks. the kitchen floor reset renders you incapable of looking after yourself for a number of days either side of it but, after it has p-ssed, everything is miraculously ok again and everything that seemed like a big deal now feels very manageable. hence the term “reset”.
person 1: i heard that kelly broke up with brian and that he’s in real bad shape
person 2: yeah, he went home and had a total kitchen floor reset, he should be back at uni by monday
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