Lamarche


a sperm whale who has adapted enough to grow legs and walk on land. the way she survives is by producing so much sweat that she can stay on land. lamarches generally take up teaching positions and survive by eating 5,000 lbs of food per hour. if you see a lamarche use extreme caution and throw spaghetti on the ground to distract her and run away.
student 1: wow i’ve never seen a beached whale have s-x with an emo.
student 2: yeah that’s a lamarche if i’ve ever seen one

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