lava-ware
collective noun referring to the useless banner ads that decorate free web sites. the sites receive income by selling ad sp-ces to various sm-tty companies such as ambulence-chasing law firms, knock-off boutiques, etc. at the expense of web surfers’ sanity.
the term “lava-ware” was coined because dodging these banners is comparable to walking across a room only stepping on objects that are not the floor because the floor is lava.
the danger of lava-ware is generally restricted to touch screen media such as tablets and smart phones where such banners can be difficult to avoid touching.
lava-ware evolved from the pop-up technology that once plagued non-touch interfaces; those that persist today have adapted with very small and unreachable “x” b-ttons that serve to close thd window.
hipster 1: “bromandude, did you check the weather for tonight yet? if it’s gonna rain i’m totes gonna rock the fedora, otherwise i’m hitting the town with my understated tipped quaff.”
hipster 2: “sorry dudemanbro, i was scrolling through my gps radar from the local news page and super dissed my manicure on some lava-ware for snuggies.”
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