Maddow Colver

any very muscular, big & black dalit wrestler endowed with a huge shudra p-n-s.

the term is based on the historical maddow colver, traditional ancestor of several indian & indian ocean shudra clans. folk legends of his exploits have been popularised by amitav ghosh’s historical novel ‘sea of poppies’ (n delhi: penguin books, 2008). the name is an anglicisation of madhu kalua (ibid: 53, 284-5) or ‘honey blackie’- alluding to the great attractions he has for women.
most important of these is the legendary dalit p-n-s, which in case of pure-blooded negroid-australoids dwarfs both the indo-aryan p-n-s & the anglo p-n-s. in fact, it is recorded to have scared off indo-aryan wh-r-s: “it was said that on taking kalua to benares, the three young landlords, being seized by the licentious atmosphere of the city, had decided that it would be excellent sport to couple kalua with a woman. they had invited some friends & taken bets: could a woman be found who would bed this giant of a man, this two-legged beast? a well-known baiji, hirabai, was hired & brought to the kotha where the landlords were staying. there, with a select audience watching from the shelter of a marbled screen, kalua had been led into her presence wearing nothing but a langot of white cotton around his waist. what had hirabai expected? no one knew but when she saw kalua, she was rumoured to have screamed: this animal should be mated with a horse, not a woman …” (ibid: 55)
1) thomas babbington: darling, why are you wearing that goa bikini?
susan babbington: because you have the irish curse! so i’m going to goa for a holiday to find a maddow colver with a big black dravidian d-ck!

2) mehnaz khan: give me a maddow colver any day over these punjabi pind-cks!

3) over-awed englishmen were often intimidated by maddow colvers: “turning his head a little, the pilot {mr doughty} caught a glimpse of kalua & the sight prompted him to struggle to his feet. ‘now there’s a burra-size budzat if ever i saw one.’ ‘yes, sir. thumping big fellow.'” (ibid: 283)

4) “‘oh he’ll hang for sure … ,’ said the captain, ‘… if they were at home, this man’d be cut up & fed to the dogs for what he’s done.’ … ‘this man’ – the captain looked down at a sheet of paper, to remind himself of the name – ‘this maddow colver; he’s a pariah who’s run off with a woman of high caste – a relative of the subedar, as it happens. that’s why this colver signed up – so he could carry the woman off to a place where she’d never be found … why, what do you think would happen in maryland if a white woman were to be violated by a negro? what would you, or i, or any of us, do with a darkie who’d had his way with our wives or sisters? why should we expect the subedar & his men to feel any less strongly than we would ourselves? and what right do we have to deny them the vengeance that we would certainly claim as our due?'” (ibid: 481-482)