magic the gathering


best. cardgame. ever.
my polar kraken just kicked your -ss
crack in the form of cards

it will consume you….
“i just got a sweet new pack of mtg”
a collectable card game in which two or more players battle each other using creatures, spells, artifacts, and enchantments. you can win in several ways:
1. each player starts with 20 life. if one player’s life total drops to 0 or less, they lose.
2. you can “deck” your opponent, meaning his library of cards is depleted and he can no longer draw.
3. if a player has 10 poison counters on them, they lose. this was a half-formed concept in earlier sets and is now extinct.
4. your opponent can concede, or give up. this is often done when a player realizes that his situation is hopeless and decides to spare both players the wait of playing the whole thing out.

magic is easily the most prolific and well known ccg ever. while other games have came along that might sell more than magic, such as pokemon or yu gi oh, these eventually (will) disappear as the players mature and move on to magic, which has endured for 10 years.
magic the gathering is cardboard crack
dangerous to those that can’t add or subtract.
examples:

1/1 + +1/+1 = 2/2

also: 20 – 23 = -3 = you lose, you f-cking trog

^-spooky math
a dangerous drug synthesized from paper and ink extracts in switzerland. addiction occurs nearly simultaneously with the first consumption, and will deplete one’s wallet faster than you can say “tap that freaking darksteel colossus, yeah baby”.
magic the gathering addict:

mom: where’s your money?
nerd: i just spent it on some maj
mom: wow, that’s so sad…
n. a card game published by wizards of the coast since the early 90’s involving (as implied by the t-tle) “magic” cards
mtg is like f-cking card crack for gamers!
crack captured in paper form. actually, the original collectible trading card game, originally released in 1993, still going strong today. made by richard garfield, and published by wizards of the coast. two or more players duel each other using various creatures, spells, and artifacts. the object is to bring each other players life total down to 0 in order to win. this can be accomplished in many ways. it’s up to you to decide how to do it. seeing how over 40 expansion sets have been released over the years, there are almost endless possibilities.

often ridiculed/stereotyped by chads, along with d&d, star wars, and world of warcraft as the epitome of geekdom. on the contrary, it is known to be played by anyone, and most gamers i’ve met don’t fall into the stereotypes, and in fact, do have a life, have other interests, get laid, etc. only people with no life like to make fun of people who play games like these. irony at it’s finest.
mtg player 1: i tap all my lands, and fireball you for 10 damage, you lose!

mtg player 2: aww, sh-t!

random dipsh-t: what are you two f-gs doing?

mtg player 1: just got done playing a game of magic, now we’re gonna go hit up a kegger.

random dipsh-t: whaa!? i didn’t know you nerds did anything else with your lives but play magic the gathering

mtg player 1: yeah, crazy sh-t, huh? it’s gonna be killer! beer and b-tches everywhere! and the best part is everyone going is totally chill.

random dipsh-t: no way! can i come?

mtg player 1: sorry, chads aren’t allowed at this party.

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