Mall Shark
basically a frenzied shopping wh-r-, however, much more vicious. they seek out everything in the sea known as a mall. they maul on anything they can get their hands on, including your money. there’s often more than one of these in any mall, plaza or promenade.
they can be in groups or solo. most of the time, there’s three in a group. it may also attract other mall sharks and it will end up in a messy feeding frenzy.
if you are a merchant and you find yourself dealing with a mall shark, there’s only one way to survive. you must sacrifice your merchandise.
if you are another shopper, and you are dealing with one, do not engage, it is best to just run, which will also tick off the mall shark and make it come after you. either way, you might have to give something up.
most malls try to pretend they are a myth like the sewer gator.
store clerk: boss, we need your help, we’re getting a feeding frenzy of mall sharks down here! help!
manager: johnny, how many times must i tell you. mall sharks are an urban myth.
store clerk: but bo- -store clerk hangs up abruptly-
manager: oh johnny…
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