mansion wipes
a roll of full-priced, premium-brand paper towels used to wipe down surfaces in your mansion of messes created by lavish cooking, partying, or other deliberately reckless and pretentious behavior. can also be conspicuously consumed in other ways- as long as they are used with complete disregard to their cost.
hey! p-ss me the roll of mansion wipes (instead of a dish towel or other economically responsible means of drying something) so i can wipe all of this don julio, champagne, shrimp c-cktail, and steak residue off the marble counter tops! who cares how many we use, there are always more!!!
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