March 14th

steak and bj day was invented by tom birdsey, may he live forever, and may the gods eternally bless his fate. men everywhere should build shrines and worship this man, who has been so kind as to bless us with a day devoted entirely to devouring m-ssive hunks of cowflesh and having one’s member gobbled. truly, he is a saint among swine, and deserving of the highest accolades in the worlds beyond.

seriously though, steak and bj day was invented as a response to valentine’s day, a day in which men get the ‘privilege’ of showing their affection for their significant other by spending ludicrous amounts of time, money, and effort in showering them in gifts, dinners, shows, and various other things to show them just how special they are to us.

isn’t it about time that there was a day just like that, but devoted to having the ladies show men just how much they appreciate them? thanks to steak and bj day, this dream has finally come true.

and look how easy it is! since we’re really only one of two things, the formula for showing us that appreciation is really very simple.

first: food! not any of that new-age healthy co-op market cr-p, either. just give us a big hunk of cow. preferably still bleeding. the napkin will be unnecessary, thanks, that’s what the backs of our arms are for.

i think the second part does not require any further explanation from me.

best thing is: it’s a win-win situation! just think, ladies, of just how hard your man will try to please you on february 14th just at the -thought- of the rewards he will be receiving on his special day. there’s no way to lose, unless you have difficulty suppressing your gag reflex.
march 14th is, in short: best. holiday. evar!