masturbaywatch


to watch the american lifeguard-inspired drama ‘baywatch’ for the sole aim of masturbation
‘so i was having a masturbaywatch to pamela anderson last night when, on the vinegar strokes, the camera panned to david h-sselhoff. as i understand, this now means that i must be a raging h-m-s-xual. do you know where i can catch a matinee of ‘mamma mia’ and follow it up with some good old-fashioned sodomy so as to -ssimilate effectively with my newfound kin?’

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