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evil organization determined to ruin the lives of as many public school students as possible, while giving them ridiculous amounts of vacation due to non-existant inclement weather to absorb their brain-washing about standardized testing, drugs, and how much more important college really is than it is in reality. the last of that list will only make sense to those subjected to mcps’ tyranny. poor schools are remodeled, rather than restaffed. their headquarters are located in rockville, moco maryland.
“oh look, a tank.”
“yeah, that’s mcps’ new id badge enforcement officer.”
“the tank?”
“no… mike tyson. he’s the one driving it.”
montgomery county public schools.

where many of the high schools are rated as newsweek’s best in the country, while some of the other schools find it hard to get things like paper towels or soap in the bathrooms. or both things at once.

oh, and the only school system where you get off school for three and a half days when it snows 2 inches. or they don’t close it when they should. either way, they aren’t great with weather. but who’s complaining?

moco student: at my school, we’re all frickin geinuses.
another moco student: yeah, but there’s never any toilet paper.
1st moco student: that’s because all the other smart kids have been using it as scr-p paper in ap calc.

mcps system of logic

day 1 of an ice storm:
mcps official #1: should we close? the roads might get slippery later.
mcps official #2: nah, all those hundreds of thousands of kids who ride the already overcrowded buses will be just fine. here, why don’t we be the only county in the area to actually say we’re opening on time. i’m from moco. i’m rich. therefore, i am right.
two hours later
official #2: ok, so maybe i was wrong.

day 2
official #1: should we close?
official #2: yeah, i guess its still pretty icy. oh, and its still snowing.
official #1: should we call the plows?
official #2: no. its too dangerous for snow plows to be plowing snow right now. and i’m from moco. and i’m rich. so obviously, i’m right about this.
later that afternoon
official #1: hey the sun’s coming out! maybe we should call the plows now.
official #2: how many times do i have to tell you this? i’m from montgomery county! therefore, i am smart and right. the snow will melt. but just in case, close the schools for tomorrow.
official #1: ok, but the snow won’t melt. its below freezing.
official #2: do you want to get fired?
official #1: never! i wouldn’t be able to pay for my $2 million mansion in potomac! what would i do?
official #2: live in…pg county?
official #1: hahahahahahahaha!!! funny joke.

day 3
official #1: what should we do about school tomorrow. the roads are fine, so should they go back to school?
official #2: well, no, we have a slight problem.
official #1: what?
official #2: there’s too much snow to open the doors to the schools.
official #1: all of what, two inches?
official #2: two treacherous, horribly frozen inches that cannot be moved, even by means of snow plow! cancel school tomorrow!

and message from mcps:
montgomery county public schools will be closed on friday, february 16, 2007, due to the continuing difficulty of removing ice and snow from school system facilities and public sidewalks. all school and community activities in school buildings also are canceled. all administrative offices will open on time

officials from every other county in the country: hahahahahahaha…pansies.
male chauvanist pig.
this mcp tried to tell me that that modem would work with anything, ‘cuz he thought since i was a girl i couldn’t be using linux.
master control program: a malevolent ai who appropriates other systems to put their programs on the game grid.

was later used as the basis for ma3a.

see also digitization laser.
“stop! please! you’re entering a big error!”
master control program

a “character” in the movie tron.
the mcp steals other programs, and extends itself using their knowledge.
master control program: you’re in trouble, program. why don’t you make it easy on yourself. who’s your user?
clu: forget it, mister high-and-mighty master control! you’re not going to make me talk!
master control program: suit yourself.
abbreviation for: memory-clear-party

a party that will be given after final exams to get rid of all the memorized cr-p in your brain, including lots of booze to speed things up.
a: omg, i hate studying all this cr-p for my final exams.

b: yeah, let’s throw a mcp afterwards to get all this memorized sh-t out of our systems.
acronym for microsoft certified professional.
“according to his resume, this guy’s an mcp.”

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