methematician

1. one who is distinguished in the field of methematics (the study of methamphetamine manufacture, distribution and consumption, together with the history of meth use and its impact on modern culture. a low point in the history of methematics occurred during world war ii when allied and axis forces used amphetamine and methamphetamine to enhance and extend (temporally) their fighting skills.
2. a legitimate or underground chemist who excels in the manufacture of the highest quality methamphetamine. usually, methematicians cook only for themselves and very trusted -ssociates for personal use only. methematicians actively discourage meth use by the m-sses. methematicians focus on the social utility of methamphetamine.
3. an academic or government specialist in the field of methematics who works with law enforcement and drug companies to stem the rising tide of illicit meth use worldwide.
1. at a recent underground lecture, one of this area’s leading methematicians discussed the widespread endors-m-nt and promotion of various methamphetamine formulations by the medical profession and pharmaceutical companies through the mid 1970s. the most successful of these products continues to be prescribed for narcolepsy, adhd and obesity. the lecturer estimated that there are a half million regular recreational users and another three hundred thousand self-medicators who continue to chase the inst-tutional claims from the 1960s and 1970s that methamphetamine relieves depression, alcoholism and seasonal affective disorder.

2. the restrictions on the sale of pseudoephedrine in the u.s. have driven many of our most talented chemists to become methematicians for the mexican methamphetamine mafiosos and their “crystal cartels.”
3. lily chemicals, usa announced today that its brain trust of methematicians had developed a new crime fighting additive to be incorporated into its pseudoephedrine based cold and sinus medications. the lily spokesperson stated “that the company was committed to frustrating the synthesis of methamphetamine in all laboratories except those licensed by the food and drug administration after consultation with the drug enforcement administration.”