METSturbate
the intense, pleasureful and often s-xually satisfying experience that all mets have during baseball’s offseason. during this period any move the mets make is regarded as the “perfect fit” and mets fans drool at the idea that the team might finish better than .500. this is, of course, never the case.
john: hey rick, do you want to go see a movie later?
rick: i can’t, mike and i are going to metsturbate together over michael cuddyer.
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