Michael Brown

np: michael dewayne brown (b 1954-)
(aka: gilligan. wile e. coyote.)

n. brown
1. n. former head of federal emergency management agency (fema). fema (aka: federal excessive masturbation autocracy.)
2. n. former arabian horse inseminator. (ie-technician who pulls the dong of an arabian stallion, and then injects the effluent into the cooch of the mare for purposes of pedigree horse breeding. (see: splooge broker.)
3. n. former splooge broker to president george w bush. (see patronage appointments.)
4. n. (generic) any man bearing a strong resemblance to a large slug or turtle, who frequently uses the term ‘b-lls to the wall.’ any mollusk-like individual obsessed with b-lls.
5. n. (generic) a paunchy fashion god of the llbean type. any flabby middle-aged caucasian male who believes that rolling up his sleaves makes him appear macho and decisive, despite m-ssive evidence to the contrary (see george w bush, d-ck cheney, james earl carter.)
6. n. (slang: brown bag) a douche bag. an enema bag.
7. n. (generic) a whiner. one who whines, and blames others/everybody for his mistakes. (see stool pigeon.)
8. n (generic) a fall guy. (see admiral husband kimmell.)
9. n. (generic) a scape goat used to draw attention away from a systematic government failure of m-ssive proportions.
10. n. (sports) a coach. (ie-the act of firing the coach of a professional sporting team because it is impossible to fire the owner. see george steinbrener.)

v. to brown:
1. v. to whine. to blame others for one’s own mistakes.
2. v. to fail miserably at a task, usually as a result of total inept-tude, incomptetence and indecisiveness. to make a bad situation worse through incompetence. (see: c-ckup, cl-sterf-ck, hump the bunk, f-ck the dog.)
3. v. the act of answering urgent emails with ridiculous understatements, suggesting that the recipient did not understand the gravity of the message. (ie-message: “the 9th ward levy just broke, and new orleans is under 18 feet of water!” reply: “thanks for the update. i’ll start looking for an alternate supplier of mardi gras beads.”)
“oh stop browning, already. you know it was your fault.”

“boy did i ever michael brown that job up!”

“be sure to pack the brown bag for the trip to mexico. we might need it if we get a case of montezuma’s revenge.”
the former head of the federal emergency management agency. proof that kissing -ss and being well connected are the only requirements for high level jobs in the george w. bush administration. this person had no prior emergency management experience. the most incompetent federal response to a crisis ever took place on this clown’s watch. a contributing factor to so much death and destruction that it is sickening. a person who fell on his sword to protect our worthless president.
michael brown was employed by the international arabian horse -ssociation or some such, and he was forced to resign from that job too.
the head of fema from 2003-2005, including during hurricane katrina. blamed by george w. bush, and america for the entire fema failure.

also gave $30 million to miami after hurricane francis, even though francis never hit miami.

before being appointed fema director… brown was the judges and stewards commissioner for the international arabian horse -ssociation, (iaha), from 1989-2001, which george w. bush (of course) thought qualified him to be the fema director.
“brownie you’re doin’ a heck of a job”-george w. bush
“michael brown sucks at managing fema”
best kid in the worldd, his two favourite people in the world have to be named susana and connor, enjoys cliff diving and videochatting and bridge jumping and wakeboarding and kneeboarding and kayaking, is a bossss at squash, gets girls, loves diet mountain dew, absolutely addicted to ebay and lost, hhas curly dark brownish hair, brown eyes, loves vanilla yogurt, pasta and cheeseburgers, goes to boarding school, loves catzzzzzz. also loves driving.
-“dude who is that bro so good at playing squash?!”
-“dunno, must be a michael brown!”