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a nice place to live that is cold in the winter, and up to 105 in the summer. we don’t cancel school unless the windchill is -60 like last year. we have great schools and take forever to say goodbye. have lots of different people are are i guess pretty “nice” not much racism here. oh and we have a lake basically everywhere
i really like living in minnesota
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60 above zero:
floridians turn on the heat.
people in minnesota plant gardens.

50 above zero:
californians shiver uncontrollably.
people in duluth sunbathe.

40 above zero:
italian & english cars won’t start.
people in minnesota drive with the windows down.

32 above zero:
distilled water freezes.
the water in bemidji gets thicker.

20 above zero:
floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.
people in minnesota throw on a flannel shirt.

15 above zero:
new york landlords finally turn up the heat.
people in minnesota have the last cookout before it gets cold.

zero:
people in miami all die.
minnesotans close the windows.

10 below zero:
californians fly away to mexico .
people in minnesota get out their winter coats.

25 below zero:
hollywood disintegrates.
the girl scouts in minnesota are selling cookies door to door.

40 below zero:
washington dc runs out of hot air.
people in minnesota let the dogs sleep indoors.

100 below zero:
santa claus abandons the north pole.
minnesotans get upset because they can’t start the mini-van.

460 below zero:
all atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the kelvin scale.)
people in minnesota start saying…”cold ’nuff fer ya?”

500 below zero:
h-ll freezes over.
minnesota public schools will open 2 hours late.
minnesotans may be called hicks, they may be in the middle of nowhere, but they are tougher than h-ll! (see: 500 below zero)
1. state…-ss
2. h-ll of a lot better than wisconsin, but then again wisconsin is better than mighigan (detroit is a minneapolis wannabe)
3. california shopping my -ss, we have the biggest mall in the country…suck it
4. nice people
5. better weather
6. best schools (no really, best rated)
sh-tty little kid: mom, why are we going to minnesota
mom: umm, because it’s like the best place ever.
the land of 3 seasons, winter, summer, and road construction.
“the gophers won against the hawkeyes, so in celebration i teabagged an iowan.
our governor used to be able to beat up your governor. b-tch.
“im jesse ventura, i kick -ss”
minnesota: an upper midwest state, populated by nordic descendants (hence the vikings nfl team) and native americans. located on the edge of the flat and seemingly endless praire, the state gets blast-chilled by polar winds for most of the year. the bulk of the people live in the twin cities (hence the mn twins mlb team) and the surrounding cookie-cutter sprawl, while the rest of the state is scattered with g-d-forsaken iron mining towns (up north) or small, lutheranesque farming communities that produce wheat and soybeans, which later get moved around by unsightly, rectangular barges down the mississippi river or shipped to far-away places from the duluth harbor. the state is characterized by high taxes, high welfare levels (possibly scandinavian influences), strong economy (scores of large co.’s are hqed here, incl. gen mills that made the cereal you are for breakfast, 3m that made your lint roller, medtronic that made your grandpa’s pacemaker, hormel that makes the spam you grew up on, polaris that made your uncle duffy’s snowmobile, target, whose repulsive target-eye dog seems to be everywhere, etc.), changing demographics (growing latino, somali and hmong enclaves), changing politics (a pr-nounced shift to the right). vacationing generally means “goin’ to the cabin up nort'” for fishing and boating, while the winter is spent is super-luxurious ice fishing shacks with tvs and bunk beds, drinking the local grain belt beer. the people are overall minnesotah-nice, meaning that anything that they disapprove of is glossed over as “oh, that’s different”. the state’s public radio service (recently renamed american public media) produces some of the most popular national programs, such as prairie home companion, marketplace, speaking of faith, st paul sunday, futuretense, etc. quite a feat for a semi-frozen swath of land that has about 5 mil people in it.
minnesota frequently makes it on the last page of your daily hometown paper as the coldest place in the nation.
1) land of 10,000 lakes and 475,947,540,594,750 mosquitos.

2) we do not sound like the poeple in fargo. in fact, we minnesotans laugh at your stupidity for thinking so. i’m beginning to wonder if any of you have ever talked to a real minnesotan. but, we do have a slight accent. and there’s nothing wrong with that.

3) we’re not conservative hicks. some are conservative, some are liberal and some just don’t really care.

4) we have mall of america, baby! it’s huge and they’re going to extend it further. it’s really great there, check it out!
interesting little facts:
– if a shopper spent 10 minutes browsing at every store, it would take them more than 86 hours to complete their visit to mall of america.
– seven yankee stadiums can fit inside mall of america.

5) ahem, we have four seasons. if you’ve been to minnesota, for a full year- then you would know this. if not, don’t even open your stupid a– mouth. and our summer ranges from 70-115 degrees, dumb a–es!

6) people in minnesota say pop, not c-ke or soda. get the f— over it! soda is acceptable. c-ke is just r-t-rded, c-ke is a kind of pop/soda. “yeah, i’d like a c-ke” -person brings coca-cola- “wtf is this?!!?!?! i didn’t mean a c-ke c-ke, i meant a mountain dew c-ke”. pshh, yeahhh.

7) people in minnesota do not brag about us being the best state, because we usually don’t think that. we’d only think it if we traveled to every state and felt minnesota was better for us. -cough- people boasting about their state being #1 is pathetic, i’m pretty sure 99% of them haven’t been to every state the u.s.a offers.

8) the minnesota long goodbye. i hate it, but it’s true. a minnesotan will take anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour or so just to say goodbye. if you come to minnesota, be prepared for it.

9) we have severe road rage, but we do not drive like the idiots in texas. 🙂

10) fresh air, trees, beautiful scenery = minnesota.

11) everyone in the bigger states think they are the best. well, sure. you have the highest crime rates. congrats! you’re kid isn’t safe at the park, in school or any other public place for that matter. atleast in minnesota, we can walk around and not get shot at. 🙂 i love living with no fear.

12) overall, minnesota is an upbeat state. it isn’t given enough credit, because everyone choses to hate on it. i personally think it’s wisconsin and iowa giving us a bad name.
minnesota is a cool state, if people just give it a f—ing chance and stop being so egotistical about their state.
-the state of hockey.
-home to hockey town,usa (not to be confused with the “fake” hockey town,usa ‘detroit’…detroit is a city..not a town fawkers)
-land of 10,000 lakes
-minnesota nice…unless of course you are driving
-we do not say “eh”…thats canada
-“a’s” and “o’s” are pr-nounced differently than everyone else….
“im from minnesotah!”