modern art

flicking various colours off the tip of a paint brush, then using black paint to draw some squiggly lines, often finishing with finger painting and handprints. child’s art with a signature in the corner.

–or–

making a fair quality sculpture of a person, animal or both… then removing the limbs, burning away the features and making it generally unrecognisable.

such oddities are adored by the pomo (post-modern) elites and thier hangers on.
at an art gallery showcasing some modern art

ordinary person: what the…..

pomo sycophant: you unculteréd and unciviliséd méss; it’s modern art. geat with it!!

ordinary person: it’s a carrot with a f-cking flag on it. how is that art?
there is less to modern art than meets the eye.
modern art is, by in large, pretentious rubbish.
anything a baby could do put on a canvas and hanged on a museum’s wall. or if you’re into sculptures, any random object placed on a white podium, in a dark room, with a solitary light shining upon it.
i wonder who would pay more for a random piece of garbage…a modern art museum or ebay?
can be anything.
ex. – a line
-colored lines
-stick drawing of a cow
-a dot
“what the h-ll?”

“its modern art”
when you have explosive diarrhea and the resulting aftermath looks like a bag of chilli exploded in a vacuum. usually accompanied with heralds of trumpets and noxious fumes. the resulting artwork must stick to the sides of the porcelain to achieve true ‘modern art’ status.
after nico ate several burritos for lunch he needed to run to the bathroom to create a modern art masterpiece.
someone bought more burgers and fries than they could eat at a drive-thru mcdonald’s in the boondocks. thirty miles down the road they tossed the leftovers out the window. the leftovers fermented in the sun and five days later a great big dog wandered by, thought the mess smelled appetising and ate it. the meal played havoc with the dog’s nervous system and it went quite wild. the next time a car came by the dog took a flying leap through the windscreen at a relative speed of almost a hundred miles an hour, killing itself and likely the driver and sending the car out of control. the car flipped over four times and lay on the road, subsequently catching fire and burning out. a milk lorry came over the top of the hill and crashed into the mess, and was followed by five or six more vehicles before the authorities got the faintest notion what was going on and part-tioned the area off. shortly afterwards a boeing 747 carrying, among other things, a few large containers of yellow paint suffered a blowout and had to descend. the paint squirted out of the plane and splashed down on top of the pile-up. a hitch-hiker came by with a camera and thought the whole thing looked intriguing. he took some pictures and downloaded them onto his computer later on. the pictures were photoshopped to look a little spooky and later printed in this new form on t-shirts. the photographer’s girlfriend wore one of these to an art gallery and he photographed her pulling faces and balling her fists while wearing the t-shirt. later on, these photographs were projected onto a screen in a display room in another gallery and a painter executed a painting of people in the room watching the slide show. shortly afterwards everyone involved in the production of all this art – the hitchhiker photographer, the girlfriend, the painter, and all – had the good sense to overdose on cocaine at a party and die shortly thereafter, thereby sensibly removing themselves from the means of production and terminating their financial interest in the process. the painting was sold for £300,000 at sotheby’s and artie journalists claimed it was emblematic of the ultimately existentiallistically meaningless search for meaning within the postmodernist aesthetic.
and that more or less is a typical story of modern art.
a synonym for bullsh-t
when a professor gives you a 50 question multiple choice exam with answers a-h including choices such as all of the above, none of the above, every other letter, etc…

in this situation, you can simply shout out that’s bullsh-t or take it as modern art