Napkin Nazi


a particularly large, overly religious, woman, with bird like features (i.e. a nose like a beak and an irritating squawk of a voice). she makes it her personal duty to guard all of the napkins in the high school lunch room like a prison camp. if you take more than one she will bite off you hand.

if given a bill higher than a 5 to pay for lunch she will reject it saying you’re far too rich and that she is not, in fact, “a bank”.

the napkin n-z- will not hesitate to yelling profanity at students and/or staff, including, but not limited to: the dean of students, teachers, and esl kids.

if confronted by the napkin n-z-, play dead. like a bear she will leave you alone if she believes you to be deceased.
1.
kid takes a napkin.
napkin n-z-: “you only need one! only take one!”

2.
kid: here you go.
napkin n-z-: a ten, what am i a bank? you kids are too rich!”

3.
napkin n-z- under her breathe: f–k you.
kid: dude she just cursed off the dean!
dean: she did what?!

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