nutritionist



a young woman who after years of looking good suddenly develops a hankering for conservative politics, incessant facebook status updates, and ingesting far more calories than necessary. thus, despite earning money to help people lose weight, their own weight balloons to cartoonish levels. foods of choice include: cheesecake, cheesecake, and cheesecake.
that girl megan was so hot in high school. too bad she’s such a nutritionist. really let herself go.
usage (noun)
a t*tle claimed by many have-been hollywood types, wannabe doctors, and your regular garden variety hollywood “fitness” guru. there is no legal definition therefore allowing any charlatan to use it. normally used to imply that the person has some knowledge on the science of biochemical reactions which occur in energy expenditure and metabolism as an organism converts food into usable energy-but notice they never use r.d. after their name, as they would be prosecuted for impersonating real scientists.
“are you a nutritionist?”
“no, i’m a registered diet*tian”
“what does that mean?”
“i have a degree in biochem and clinical training in the field in addition i don’t wear spandex on tv”

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