Obsessive Anal Penetration Disorder
obsessive -n-l penetration disorder, also known as oapd, is an incurable disease that affects 1.2 million americans. oapd sufferers generally find the urge to stick random objects up their b-ms regardless of size or importance.
rare cases involve small dogs and children and often times results in severe injuries for anyone/anything involved.
in the most severe patients, there seems to be an increase in ovpd (obsessive v-g-n-l penetration disorder).
oapd is not contagious; however, it is a habit that can be picked up by anyone at any age.
—-
jarren: hey jasmine, have you seen my spanish book?
jasmine: um, no? ask tejada…
jarren: i can see the spine of the book poking through the back of your pants; danielle already told me about your obsessive -n-l penetration disorder.
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jarren: wtf jasmine? where the h-ll is muh pickle at?
jasmine: why do you always look at me?
jarren: cause every time you fart, the room starts to smell like pickles. have you taken your meds yet for your obsessive -n-l penetration disorder?
—-
jarren to family: hey guys, i have a friend coming over in awhile… she’s got a bit of a problem.
grandma: what is it?
jarren: oh, its nothing much… we’re just going to have lock up anything that could possibly fit up her b-tt.
grandma: oh my, it’s that obsessive -n-l penetration disorder. it seems to get the best of us.
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