only when I’m pregnant


a male person’s definitive “never” response. puts to rest the relentless drunk friend-of-friend who tries to force you into a flase confession.
drunk fof: “dude, would you ever consider nailing snooki?”
dude: “no.”
drunk fof: “not even if your were drunk?”
dude: “never.”
drunk fof: “even if you’re drunk, h-rny, and she’s playing with your b-lls?”
dude: “only when i’m pregnant.”

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